If there is one thing that our society loves to hate, it is purity. Yes, not having sex until marriage. As one who has made the promise to stay pure until marriage 5 years ago, I can attest to this. I can't tell you how many times I've been poked fun of for my decision or doubted because of it. My decision to be pure, along with the most decisions that Christians make, does not conform to society. And society doesn't like that. But I can tell you now, after getting out of a 2 year relationship, staying pure until marriage is one of the best decisions I have ever made.
Although it is one of the best decisions, it is also one of the hardest. God placed sexual desire into our hearts. We were made to physically become one with another person. As someone once said: "we were not made to stop." Wanting sex is completely natural. However, sex is made for marriage and that is how God intends it. I know people say that if you really love someone, you should be able to show them that love physically. But if they love you enough, they would be willing to wait for you. That is why waiting for your future spouse is the ultimate way to show them that you love them. That wait certainly is not easy. Hormones and emotions get in the way. But I know that it will be worth it.
It has already been proven to me that it is worth it. As I leave this 2 year relationship, I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am that I made decision to not have sex until marriage. As this boy walks away, I am at such peace knowing that he is not walking away with something that didn't belong to him in the first place. Because I didn't give him myself physically, it is that much easier to let go of and move on from the relationship. The hurt has gone away and I am over it. I'm sure that had I given him all of me, I would have such a hard time letting him go. He may have a part of my heart, but he does not have my body. And I thank God for that. Making this promise to Him and my future husband has saved me tremendous heartache.
God's plan of sex only being in marriage serves a great purpose. It helps us guard our hearts. And for women, it helps weed out the jerks who only want you for your body. Keeping this standard will prove which men are willing to wait for you. These are the kind of men that deserve to be with a princess of the King of Kings. Why be with someone who isn't willing to wait for you? You deserve someone who will not only wait, but someone who will help you stay pure in the wait. If they pressure you and tempt you to to further, run away. They are not in it for the right reasons. Stay strong and keep God and your future spouse in mind. Purity is impossible without a relationship with God. The strength that is needed to be pure is strength than cannot come from us alone. Purity is also a way to show your love for Him and to show that you will and trust His plan. But how much should you sacrifice to show that? How far is too far? Well, a good way to judge that is to think of your future spouse. How far would you want them going with someone other than you? If you don't want them going that far, then why go that far with someone else's future spouse? It's also not just about being a physical virgin. It's about being a heart virgin. You cannot go lusting after the opposite sex. Strive to be pure in your heart and mind. That includes not watching pornography. You're future spouse deserves more than that. God deserves more than that. You deserve more than that.
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." - Matthew 5:8
I know there are some of you thinking "it's too late for me" or "I'm damaged goods." But let me make this clear, it is not too late. God is the giver of second chances (and third and fourth and fifth chances and so on). We are human. We make mistakes. We fall time and time again. Maybe you're not a virgin. Maybe your virginity was taken from you. But know this, who you are is not what you do. "You are more than the choices that you made. You are more than the sum of your past mistakes. You are more than the problems you create. You've been remade." Whatever your past may be does not mean you cannot be pure. You can choose today to start waiting for your future spouse. You deserve to be loved and you ARE loved.
"For anyone who is in Christ
is a new creation."
2 Corinthians 5:17
Purity is so freeing. And it is fun. It forces you to be creative and to show someone you love them without getting physical. And showing someone you love them without getting physical really does go a long way. You may ask: how can I do that? Well here are a few ideas:
· send flowers or surprise gifts
· write letters
· send a cute card
· take them on a surprise date
· go on a picnic
· make them a craft
· cook or bake them something
· make a list of reasons why you love them
· do their favorite activity with them
· come up with your own list of ways to show your significant other you love them without getting physical!
I know I would prefer any of these things than a steamy makeout session. But maybe that's just me. ;)
My future husband is out there. I don't know who he is, but he gives me so much hope. I love him already. And because of that, I will respect him and I will wait for him. I will be the woman he deserves. Regardless of what society says, I will not have sex until the night of my wedding because the gift of my body belongs to him and only him.