I'm trying to walk by faith while giving nothing but love along the way while seeking the love of our Heavenly Father. Will you walk with me?

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Only Christ can satisfy.

Here's the post you've all be waiting for. As I mentioned in my last post, life hasn't been ideal lately. And here's the inside scoop to that.

My boyfriend of almost two years and I broke up. I have never experienced a break up before. And let me tell you, breakups suck. They suck a lot. I didn't expect it to hurt this much. I've always been an independent person. Even throughout the relationship, I've said: "I don't need a boyfriend." And the truth is, I don't. I do not need a boy to be there to tell me I'm beautiful and worthy. Quite frankly, I know that. But it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. I think what hurts so much is that you give your heart to that person. Your heart is in that person's hands and they just let it drop. You put your heart and soul into the relationship and you give it all the effort you've got, just to have that person walk away without putting up a fight. You let that person into your heart and they get comfortable there. Then they decide that they no longer want a relationship, and take a part of your heart with them. All of sleep lost so you can talk to them, all of the hours you've driven to see them, all of the planning, constant support, and love that you've given to them: gone. With one phone call, it's all over. The past two years of your life are gone to simply become a memory. All of the good moments, laughs, sharing, dancing; gone. Just like that. You lost them. You lost that relationship. You lost a part of you. Just like that. And what makes it harder is that he is such a great guy. He has so much to offer to this world. I have no reason to be mad at him. I understand completely why he did it. I may not agree with how he did it, but he had no intention to hurt me. He did not do this out of spite or to hurt me. He still cares and he is still a great guy. He will always be a part of me and he will always have a part of my heart. Some girl is going be so lucky to have him some day. And right now, I'm not what he needs.

But God is up to something; as He always is. This breakup has forced me to think about my relationship with Jesus. I've always thought about my relationship with Jesus while dating this boy. But now that he walked away, I've been kind of forced to turn to Jesus even more. Jesus is the only one who will never walk away. He will not let you down. He will never, EVER leave your side. And when your heart is breaking, He will hold it and put the pieces back together. When you are hurting, He will give you peace.

This breakup has also forced me to think about myself and what I deserve. To the ladies, don't ever let a boy determine your worth. The only man who can determine your worth is the One who died on the cross for you. In His eyes, you are precious and you are a treasure. You are a princess of the King of Kings. You deserve nothing less than being treated like the princess that you are. Jesus has all that you deserve. And Jesus has SO much more to offer than any boy. Jesus will constantly fight for you. He will constantly put in effort to your relationship with Him. He will support you and love you to no end. He will always let you know how much you mean to Him. And all of the flowers He put on this earth? Yeah, all of those flowers are for you. He died on the cross for YOU. Yes, you. You, my dear friend, are SO loved by the One who give up His life out of love. No boy with be able to satisfy you the way Christ can. You can have the most amazing boyfriend ever, and you will still find yourself searching for something more. "The only one who can satisfy the human heart is the One who made it." In Him, you will find joy, peace and the love you have been looking for. Chase God, and along the way, you will find a guy who is chasing Him too. "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her." As women, we deserve a guy who will pursue us and who will love us to no end.
"Your relationship with guys should be a reflection of the Father's love, not a replacement for it. Instead of looking for the ideal man, become the ideal woman and let him look for you. Keep your eyes on God and know that when it comes to finding a decent guy, the patient girl gets the prize.” - Crystalina Evert.

This breakup has caused me to remember this once again. I know what I deserve and I will not settle for less. I will keep my head high and my standards higher. If someone is going to walk out of my life so easily, I'm not going to chase them. I deserve more than that. They lost me. I now have an amazing opportunity to go out into the world and grow. I will be able to do the things that a relationship would not have allowed me to do. I am free and I have so much to experience. I accept that he's gone and I am moving on.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes you fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not the broken-hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'bout me
You know in the end the day you left is just my beginning."
- Kelly Clarkson

So here's to the new beginning. Here's to the new me. Here's to the new life with Christ that I will be living. I trust God and His plan. His plan is better than my own. I know that He has someone out there someone so amazing for me. And I know my future husband will appreciate this so much. He's out there. I will wait for him. But for now, it's God's plan for me to focus on Him because He is all I need right now. I will focus on being madly in love with Him. He is more than what I deserve. He is enough for me. I trust Him.
I trust Him.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
your own intelligence rely not.
In all your ways be mindful of Him,
and He will make straight your paths."
- Proverbs 3:5-6

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